Getting children ready in the morning

Getting children ready in the morning


1.  Cereals – No Weetabix means a slight whine. That is until I bust out the toast and honey. I remind them that Bees actually make this stuff which they think is cool, problem averted.

2.  Chairs – We have two small children’s chairs, one green the other orange. Each morning without fail major chair drama unfolds, screams, shouts and general chair related stress. Whoever gets the green chair is not at all happy and  chair gate ensues.  I really don’t get it, they’re identical in every other way apart from colour.
I’m contemplating spraying the orange one green or throwing both in the recycling then they can sit on the floor.

3.  Clothes – Not always, but often Rosy point-blank refuses to wear the days clothes.
‘Its too itchy, these are Tuesday pants and it’s Monday, you need to cut the label out etc. Mummy wouldn’t put this with this’.
This alongside the ‘your not getting me in this’ wriggle can really push your morning trying to stay calm buttons.  Give me a break my young daughter, I’ve only just sussed out the meaning of tights for goodness sake!

4.  Hair –  Both kids don’t like their hair being brushed.  For a few days Rose attended nursery looking like a cute swampy eco protester. Natty dreadlocks would’ve been fine in Dalston but not in Brentwood where sensible appearance is everything.

5.  Missing in action – It’s 5mins to 9, we’re running late, almost out of the door, we might just make it on time but alas, missing shoe alert. Cue frantic search (me) whilst the kids play around with ‘Sparkle’ My little pony.  As I slowly pull my hair out they endeavour to tell interesting Sparkle facts.

6.  Ready to rock – It’s 2 mins to 9, I’ve resigned myself, we’re going to be late, but perhaps only 5 mins. Jackets and shoes on, Rose has gone to the toilet, all good to go. About to step outside when up comes a whiff of doom. Theo has done a poo.  You couldn’t time it better if you tried.


When getting children ready in the morning for school or nursery it’s trying to do everything on time that can bring a whole heap of stress.

Our young children have no conception of time, it’s a wonderful way to be.  They don’t feel the imaginary clock in the sky with its infinite counter of doom.  They are not yet compliant time slaves to the man

But it’s extremely difficult not to pass on unhealthy time vibes to our kids.  They feel the stress of their parents rushing around in the morning and everyday life.

Lets stop rushing kids, things will still be there tomorrow, nothing will fall apart if you’re a bit late.



New years eve to seagulls in one swoop


This is my first ever post in my first ever blog. Last night whilst thinking about starting a blog, millions of words anxiously begged to be let out. Now finally ready to write, they’ve made a hasty retreat back into the depths of safety.

I’ll put finger to keyboard and see where it leads.

New years eve has come and gone and for the second year running i awoke on new years day with no hangover.  Gone are the days when new years eve consisted of doing a gig, drinking as much as possible, doing another then going on to an after party in a dark, smoky warehouse dancing till dawn.  On the plus side there’s no waking up full of remorse and regret.


Hangovers and children are not a good mix and never will be.  Luckily this year I got offered an early gig (8pm-11pm) which was ideal.  Vicki came to meet me with a couple of friends and come 12 o’clock we were out on the street looking at Big Ben and the wonderful fireworks.  They lit up the sky like Baghdad and left a smell like a smouldering match factory.  We might’ve stayed in the venue where i was djing, but after my last tune which was Ray Charles’s ‘i’ve got a woman’ the next DJ started straying into David Guetta territory which was our cue to leave.

After toasting the new year with a bottle of champange drunk out of plastic cups we headed to Ronnie Scotts jazz club where a friend of ours and were treated to complimentary entry n drinks.

We were back home by about 4am which for NYE is very sensible.

We enjoyed a relaxing late breakfast before picking up the kids from their Uncle and Aunts house.

So today is day one, back to reality after the Xmas break.  Vicki was back to work and I was back to trying to keep kaos to a minimum.  I’ve already forgot to re book Theo’s injections but we did manage to get to the library and returned the late books.  The Twinkle Twinkle book along with the TV remote went AWOL for many weeks but mysteriously reappeared just before i was about to throw in the towel and admit all the library lady.

Tomorrow we’re going to feed the ducks along the canal.  There’s a huge mound of uneaten bread feastering away in the bread bin which we need to get rid of before the mould takes over the kitchen.  Unfortunately the ducks territory has been overtaken by millions of seagulls.  Like the urban fox, they’ve sussed out that life in London is easy pickings.

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